Friday, May 16, 2008

What We Do

Some have questioned exactly where I came up with the idea for "Gem Mint Ten" and poking fun of ballplayers from my youth. While there are dozens out there "doing what we do," including the fantastic "The Ugly Baseball Card Blog" (which we caught wind of shortly before our launch via our favorite online destination, SportsbyBrooks), the real beginnings go back to my childhood.

Below is a post that appeared on Hugging Harold Reynolds on February 8, which, as you will notice, is strikingly similar to GMT's M.O.

My sister and I always got a kick out of this issue/feature of SI. We cared not about the players' salaries, but used to have fun making fun of their mug shots and playing a little game of "What They Really Make."

Kirby Puckett: Inappropriate advances.

Kevin Bass: A push for mustaches to be cool again.

Bobby Thigpen
: Over-rated closers look under-rated

Dave Winfield
: Little kids pay for his autograph (true story happened to our friend Portly Jay when he was a 10-year old fat kid).

Bob Serra
: Me think 'Who the hell was Bob Sebra?'

Don Mattingly
: Ladies go wild.

Bob Murphy: Teammates fall for the stink palm.

BJ Surhoff
: Women go black and never go back.

Mike Schmidt
: Harry Kalas cream.

Kal Daniels
: Balloon animals.

Jim Rice
: Enemies with the BBWAA.

Jose Canseco
: Subtle self-promotion.

Eric Hill
: Propane and propane accessories.

Rick Sutcliffe
: A "happy" drunk.

George Brett
: Pine tar.

Gary Pettis
: Personal appearances as Robert Guillaume.

Stanley Jefferson
: Songs that make the young girls cry.

Mike Fulmer
: Shoes smell.

Herm Winningham
: Paper dolls.

Ozzie Smith
: Barry Larkin a career NL All-Star reserve.

Julio Franco
: AARP membership payments.

Terry Francona
: A mock turtleneck look even more awkward.

Neil Allen: Bedazzled jackets.

Wade Boggs
: Threats against flight attendants.

Phil Bradley
: An infinity of boondoggle keychains at scout camp.

George Frazier
: Me know why lions eat their young.

Garry Templeton
: Me miss classic Motown.

Danny Tartabull
: Teams overvalue him.

Eddie Murray
: Bathrooms stink.

Gene Walter
: Young children uncomfortable.

Alvin Davis: "Elbow-titting" an art form.

Jeff Robinson: Moonshine.

Paul Molitor: Drug dealing profitable in the 70's and early 80's.

Pedro Guerrero: OJ angry.

Dale Murphy: A fine quiche.

Bill Almon: Bongs out of apples and Bic pens.

Wally Joyner: Mitchell's list.

Walt Terrell
: Belt buckles.

Willie Wilson: Green poopies.

Gary Carter
: Self portraits.

Von Hayes: Me wish I didn't grow up a Phillies phan.

Reggie Jackson: Aviators scramble for Blue Blockers.

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