It Was All a Dream. He Used to Read Word Up Magazine.

Frank White
Second Baseman, Kansas City Royals
1987 Topps #692

Topps Fact: ACQ: Free Agent, 7-2-70
GMT Fact: So popular in the black community in the 1970's & 80's was longtime Royals' second baseman Frank White, that Biggie Smalls aka Big Poppa aka The Notorious B.I.G. paid homage to him by adopting his name.

Sticks and Stones

Pete Ladd
Pitcher, Seattle Mariners
1987 Topps #572

Topps Fact: Pete is affectionately nicknamed "Big Foot."
GMT Fact: Beats his old nickname "ShitForBrains," but not by much.

Macho Man

Here's a name Tribe fans can remember and laugh at...

Ernie "Macho" Camacho
Pitcher, Cleveland Indians
1986 Topps #509
1987 Topps #353
1987 Donruss #350


jdbaseball at MLBlog's "The Game" retells some Camacho tales from a 1995 Sporting News article by Sheldon Ocker:

Mesa is the most effective relief pitcher the Indians have had, but he is not the most memorable in my 15 seasons covering, the team. That distinction belongs to Ernie Camacho, who saved games for the Indians from 1983 through '87.

Click here to read his bizarre, and anything but macho, escapades.

Buddy Cop Dramady

Most cards we display here feature players who just look the part of the stereotypical 70-80s-early 90s ballplayer. George Fraizer, on the other hand, looks like an extra from the Barney Miller cast.



Someone call Fish.



George Fraizer
Pitcher, Minnesota Twins
1987 Topps #207

Topps Fact: George volunteered his time to work with the March of Dimes and the Special Olympics groups.
GMT Fact: Quit when they refused to let him compete.

Tom Niedenfuer is Mad as Hell

Apparently our failure to post yesterday left Tom Niedenfuer antsy in the pantsy and he decided to show us his "angry face."

Grrrrr!

Tom Niedenfuer
Pitcher, Los Angeles Dodgers
1987 Topps #538

Topps Fact: He had a 7-3 mark at Washington State University.
GMT: Once a Cougar, now he chases stalks them as they ignore him at bars.

Reader Participation: Heckle This

Someone's gotten under Jeffrey Leonard's crawl. If you can best tell us how, you win his 1987 Topps card.



Jeffrey Leonard
Outfielder, San Fransisco Giants
1987 Topps #280

Topps Fact: Jeffrey finds relaxation in playing the drums.
GMT Fact: ...naked while smoking a doobie.

GMT's Slo-Pitch All-Stars

Dave Stapleton
Second Baseman, Boston Red Sox
1981 Fleer #236

Fleer Fact: ML Avg. .321
GMT Fact: Refuses to acknowledge that there is no base stealing in 10-foot-arc slo-pitch. He has been thrown out 3 times.

Pete O'Brien
First Baseman, Seattle Mariners
1992 Score #141

Score Fact: He excels in scooping up low throws and at turning the 3-6-3 double play.
GMT Fact: Refers to everyone as "Meat," except Bob Kearney who he calls "Shithead."

Bob Kearney
Catcher, Seattle Mariners
1987 Topps #498

Topps Fact: Bob and his wife are parents of a daughter.
GMT Fact: After Kearney sanded down and repainted a Miken composite bat (which he calls his "daughter"), his team would joke that "all it does is make Bob pop-up higher."

GMT Bonus Fact: Bob loves yelling 'COMING DOWN' in situations other than games.

Reader Participation: Pen Pals

Each of these talented ballplayers wrote "How-To..." books, hence their insistence on being immortalized on cardboard with a pen in their hand.

What was the title of each of their books?


Barry Jones
Pitcher, Pittsburgh Pirates
1987 Topps #494

Topps Fact: He attended Indiana University, Bloomington, Ind.
GMT Fact: So, to answer your question, no, he is not as stupid as he looks.

John Butcher
Pitcher, Minnesota Twins
1985 Topps #741

Topps Fact: Attended Yavapai College, Prescott, Arizona.
GMT Fact: Despite the tough sounding name, Butcher is actually a pacifist and refused to participate in any strap matches at Yavapai.

Tony Phillips
Shortstop-Second Baseman, Oakland Athletics
1986 Topps #29.

Topps Fact: First major league Home Run: 4-16-83.
GMT Fact: Lead all AL rookies in Grab-Assing in 1982.

Fan Feedback

Help us out...

• What is Jim smoking?
• What does T.R. stand for?
• What is Mike yelling?

List answers in comments.


Jim Kern
Pitcher, Texas Rangers
1982 Topps #463

Topps Fact: Don Money tied record with 12 assists at 2nd base, 6-24-77.
GMT Fact: Jim Kern was so baked during the 1982 season that when he saw Don Money's name on the back of his card, he rolled it into a joint and smoked it while playing a "Two Tickets to Paradise" 45 in his skivvies.

T.R. Bryden
Pitcher, California Angels
1987 Topps #387

Topps Fact: Born: 1-17-59, Moses Lake, Wash.
GMT Fact: T.R.'s mother was a mermaid, his father a trout.

Mike Madden
Pitcher, Houston Astros
1985 Topps #479

Topps Fact: (None given)
GMT Fact: Mike is the victim of his own "Madden Curse" - he only has one testicle.

Pretty Boys

Tim Leary
Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers
1987 Topps #32

Topps Fact: Tim pitched for US Team which finished 2nd in World Cup Tournamnet in Bologna, Italy, 1978.
GMT Fact: Actual Conversation...

Leary: Ok, Ladies, which of you will be lucky enough to go home with Tim Leary tonight?
Ladies: Who the f*ck is Tim Leary?
Leary: I played Jake Ryan.
Ladies: Niiiiccee.


Worked every time.

Randy Ready
Third Baseman-Outfielder, Milwaukee Brewers
1986 Topps #209

Topps Fact: He collected 1st major league Hit: 9-12-83.
GMT Fact: Seeing what luck teammate Tim Leary had posing as Jake Ryan, Ready tried to convince ladies that he was Long Duk Dong. When that didn't work, he grew a mustache and hit up a few gay bars.


Zane Smith
Pitcher, Atlanta Braves
1987 Donruss #167

Donruss Fact: Ranked 3rd on the Braves in wins and 2nd in strikeouts last year.
GMT Fact: Punched in the face by Ken Oberkfell for calling him "dude" despite numerous requests by Ken for him to "cut that sh*t out." Oberkfell had no tolerance for people from Wisconsin posing as stoner surfers.


Jim Slaton
Pitcher, California Angels
1986 Topps #579

Topps Fact: Born 6-19-50, Long Beach, Calif.
GMT Fact: Slaton now coaches Little League and was convinced by players' mothers that he could make a killing as a Chippendale on the side, despite pushing 60. They were right.

Ooooh Billy!

Billy Beane
Outfielder, Minnesota Twins
1987 Topps #114

Topps Fact: Billy's sister, Chris, was member of Cal.-San Diego's 1981-82 Division III Volleyball Championship Team.
GMT Fact: Billy actually saw Chris' inability to "get to second base" a positive when evaluating siblings. They challenged each other to see who could screw more baseball players. Billy won when he became Oakland's GM.

1988 Topps Billy Bean via 88topps.blogspot.com

Billy Bean
Outfielder, Detroit Tigers
1988 Topps #267

Topps Fact: Billy signed as a 4th round draft selection with the Detroit Tigers, June 12, 1986 by Scout Rick Arnold.
GMT Fact: Questions immediately surfaced regarding Arnold's sexuality. The Topps card only listed Bean as having hit from the left side.

Bill Bene
Pitcher, Los Angeles Dodgers
1989 Topps #84

Topps Fact: Primarily a basketball player in high school, Bill was originally an outfielder.
GMT Fact: After Bean released "Going the Other Way: Lessons from a life in and out of Major League Baseball," Bene was mistakenly called upon quite often to appear on the talk show circuit. Despite reiterating each time that his name was pronounced "Ben-ay," the calls persisted and he decided to embark on a nationwide "Not a gay? Drop the 'A'" speaking tour.

Bonus GMT Fact: The '89 Topps card lists Bene as having a 10-7 record and 5.62 ERA during his collegiate career. Yet, the Dodgers chose to expend a 1st round draft pick on him. He never made it to the Bigs. Dodger Blues lists Robin Ventura, Jim Abbott, Tino Martinez, Royce Clayton, Jim Edmonds, Alex Fernandez, Charles Nagy, Marquis Grissom and Luis Gonzalez as having been drafted after him.

GMT Trivia: Where Are They Now?

HHR's GMT caught up with some of our favorite 80's ballplayers recently.

We thought it'd be fun if our readers could test their knowledge on what some of them are now up to.

Match the player with where we found him. Post guesses in comments section. Answers will be revealed later.

Click to enlarge and get a real good look...

1. Kicking your f*ckin' ass every-which-way but Satuday.
2. Sesame Street
3. Polishing his "gun."
4. Looking in your sister's window.
5. Coaching Little League and becoming frustrated that 8-year-olds can't explain to him the infield fly rule.

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Mike Griffin
Pitcher, Baltimore Orioles
1988 Donruss #494

Donruss Fact: Was leading Rochester club in strikeouts and winning pct. (5-1) when recalled by Orioles.
GMT Fact: The Rochester Club is a go-go bar in upstate NY. For $50, dancers will dress up as ballplayers and simulate a 3-inning contest. Griffin still managed to post a loss.

Glen Hubbard
Second Baseman, Oakland Athletics
1989 Bowman #199

Bowman Fact: Born 9-25-57 Hann AFB, Germany
GMT Fact: Signs his name like a 10-year-old school girl.

Bill Scherrer
Pitcher, Detroit Tigers
1987 Topps #98

Topps Fact: Bill graduated from Cardinal O'Hara High School (Tonawanda, N.Y.)
GMT: Just learned how to ties his own shoes...ALL BY HIMSELF!

John Smiley
Pitcher, Minnesota Twins
1992 Upper Deck #785

Upper Deck Fact: Weight: 200 lbs.
GMT Fact: Prefers Hagar to Roth. DO NOT try to debate him on this.

He's LaCock of the Walk, Baby

Pete LaCock
First Baseman, Outfielder, Kansas City Royals
1981 Topps #9

Topps Fact: Pete hit .364 with 2 Doubles & one Triple for the Royals vs. Yankees in 1978 A.L. Championships.
GMT Fact: After half a speed ball during a late-night bender with Chris Codiroli & Craig Lefferts in Ybor City, Fla. in '74, Codiroli & Lefferts convinced Peter Pecker that he should change his name to something much less embarrassing to avoid further ridicule as a pro ballplayer. The next day, he filed paperwork to become "Pete LaCock." It's French.

GMT Bonus Fact: Pete LeCock never got along with Rusty Kuntz.


Chris Codiroli
Pitcher, Oakland Athletics
1987 Topps #217

Topps Fact: He and his wife have 2 children.
GMT Fact: He and his mistresses have 7.


Craig Lefferts
Pitcher, San Diego Padres
1987 Donruss #387

Donruss Fact: Signed by Cubs out of Arizona U. in '80.
GMT Fact: Spent first MLB paycheck on a Camaro and an "F.B.I.: Female Body Inspector" t-shirt.

Fan Friday

Fans have sent over several of their favorite cards that they'd like to include on the site. Each Friday, we'll post some of them here.

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Many folks expressed disappointed that while we noted the resemblence of Craig McMurty to Kip Dynamite, that we failed to acknowledge John Candalaria to Pedro.

Well, we didn't not notice it. We just hadn't gotten to it yet.

Here you go, jackels. Vote for Juan (John).


John Candalaria
Pitcher, California Angels
1987 Donruss #551

Donruss Fact: Led Angels' in ERA in '86
GMT Fact: Well, he had a sweet bike. And he's really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus he's like the only guy at school who had a mustache.

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Reader Adam A. recommend...

• 1987 Topps Ben Ogilvie (Top Right)
  
• 1986 Topps UL Washington
• Any Billy Jo Robidoux card available.

GMT Sidenote: Remember the outrage of "Useless" Washington having the audacity to play with a toothpick in his mouth? WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS!?

One argument was that if a ball hit it, it could lodge in his throat and he could choke. What went unmentioned was the fact that he would also likely end up toothless if a ball hit him in the mouth.

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This is my rifle, this is my gun...

Mark in York, PA recommends...

The first card is a 1989 Score Paul Gibson # 595A. In the background is the SS adjusting his cup! I am almost positive they made a corrected version (# 595B) with a white square covering up the offending hand and crotch. Here's a pic (not my website).

GMT: Whether you remember this card or not, click that link and laugh your ass off.

The SS is Luis Salazar -- there is no mistaking the moustache! I'll check my stash to see if I still have both versions if you think they are blogworthy.

The second card is a 1982 Topps Steve Carlton (card #1 - "Highlights"). "Lefty's" arm seems to have LEFT him!

GMT: While we would in no way consider Lefty a "common man," I'm including it because it always gave me nightmares.

Keep them coming!!!

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Special thanks to all those who linked our new site including...

• The Thrid I
• SI's Hot Clicks
• Yahoo!'s Big League Stew
• Jim Baughbach at Newsday's Final Score
• 3 Idiots on Sports

Apologies if I missed anyone. Email if I did.

MLB Goes Hollywood

Back before multimillion dollar multi-year contracts, ball players were just like you and me. At times they needed to find second jobs to make ends meet. Here are a few players in their most popular roles.

Steve Jeltz in "What's Happening!!"


Dan Driessen in "Benson"


Charlie O'Brien in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"

Jamie Quirk in "History of the World Part I"


Unfortunatley, some players didn't have that "Hollywood" look.

"Chuck McElroy" is a pseudonym of notorious Harlem heroin kingpin LeRoy "Nicky" Barnes.

McElroy/Barnes, however, was portrayed in 2007's "American Gangster" by Cuba Gooding, Jr. He also published a fantastic autobiography, "Mr. Untouchable," which was also made into a DVD documentary. Take that, Hollywood.

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Steve Jeltz
Shortstop, Philadelphia Phillies
1988 Topps #126

Topps Fact: Steve signed as a 9th round Draft selection with the Phila. Phillies, June 7, 1980 by scout Don Williams.
GMT Fact: Soon after Steve signed as a 9th round Draft selection with the Phila. Phillies, June 7, 1980, scout Don Williams was taken behind a shed and beaten within an inch of his life.

Dan Driessen
First Baseman, Montreal Expos
1985 Topps #285

Topps Fact: Dan is married to the former Bonnie Gray.
GMT Fact: Dan is said to do a lovely soft-shoe.

Charlie O'Brien
Cather, Milwaukee Brewers
1989 Topps #214

Topps Fact: GW-RBI (Career): 0
GMT Fact: Spends off-seasons in day salons with Gary Carter.

Jamie Quirk
Cather-First Baseman, Kansas City Royals
1987 Topps #354

Topps Fact: (None Listed)
GMT Fact: Hates cats. Blogs about it.

Chuck McElroy
Pitcher, Chicago Cubs
1992 O-Pee-Chee Premier #85

O-Pee-Chee Fact: Acquired: Trade, 4/7/91
GMT Fact: Hobbies include pocket pool.

I Was Wrong

Earlier this week, I noted that Rob Wilfong quite possibly could have had the "most amazing display of recklessness at bat you've ever seen" on his 1987 Donruss card.

I was wrong. Wilfong was content breaking one hand.

"Why stop there?" asks Bruce Benedict. "Let's shatter both."


Clearly Benedict was not a Sonny Jackson fan, who if nothing else, could lay down a fundamentally-sound, picture-perfect bunt, all while mugging for the cameraman.

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Bruce Benedict
Catcher, Atlanta Braves
1987 Topps #186

Topps Fact: Bruce's off-season schedule includes speaking engagements and serving as a H.S. basketball referee.
GMT Fact: Bruce's inability to hit above .225 for three consecutive years (1984-1986) is said to have caused Dale Murphy great rage. It is widely known that any time Benedict was at bat, Murph launched into uncontrollable "heck" and "damn"-filled tirades throughout their time together as Bravos.

Sonny Jackson
Shortstop-Outfielder, Atlanta Braves
1974 Topps #591

Topps Fact: Sonny's hobby is dancing.
GMT Fact: Sonny should have spent less time dancing and more time in the cage.

You Know What They Say About Guys With Big Glasses...

Actually, we were hoping you did, because we don't.

Craig McMurtry
Pitcher, Texas Rangers
1990 Topps #294

Topps Fact: Craig was 1981 Southern League All-Star at Savannah.
GMT Fact: Craig found success post-baseball career with breakout role as Kip Dynamite. Loves technology.


Scott Garrelts
Pitcher, San Francisco Giants
1987 Topps #475

Topps Fact: Scott had a 16-4 career record at Buckley-Loda (Ill.) High School. He's fond of playing pool.
GMT Fact: Scott is illegally blind.


Tom Brookens
Third Baseman, Detroit Tigers
1989 Donruss #508

Donruss Fact: Played collegiate baseball at Mansfield (Pa.) St.
GMT Fact: Legally changed his name to "Theodore Kaczynski" in 1992.


Tom Hume
Pitcher, Philadelphia Phillies
1987 Topps #719

Topps Fact: Tom was named the top baseball player in the country at Northeast (St. Petersburg, Fla.) High School.
GMT Fact: Tom was immortalized as the highly coveted collectible ring announcer (#162) in the popular 1980's toy action figure set M.U.S.C.L.E.S.

John Lowenstein
Outfielder, Baltimore Orioles
1982 Fleer #169

Fleer Fact: Born in Wolf Point, Mont.
GMT Fact: Lowenstein, an Irish-Catholic, is rumored to be enigmatic singer-songwriter Leon Redbone.

Look at Us!

We have no chins!

Howard Hilton
Pitcher, St. Louis Cardinals
1990 Bowman #189

Bowman Fact: Howard made his Professional Baseball debut at Erie in 1985. He pitched at Louisville in 1989.
GMT Fact: Hilton liked the way his chest hair felt against the mesh spring training unis.

Ed Lynch
Pitcher, Chicago Cubs
1987 Topps # 697

Topps Fact: Ed lists reading and sailing among his hobbies.
GMT Fact: Ed couldn't take a worse picture if he tried. And try he did.

Billy Jo Robidoux
First Base/Designated Hitter, Milwaukee Brewers
1987 Donruss #240

Donruss Fact: Gave every indication of being one of the top hitting rookies in baseball last year until felled by a knew injury.
GMT Fact: Billy Jo's '87 Donruss gave every indication of being one of the top cards in the set, until felled by an SBD fart that produced his disgusted facial expression.

Randy Veres
Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers
1990 Bowman #390

Bowman Fact: (None listed. However noted that he was the Brew Crew's #1 pick in Jan. 1985. So he has that going for him. Which is nice.)
GMT Fact: Is cockeyed in addition to having no chin.

A Little Known Fact

The 1986 Brewers moonlighted as 70's sitcom star impersonators.

John Henry Johnson, in addition to having a sweet ass sweet name, made his bones on the circuit doing a helluva Juan Epstein. (He had a note.)


Meanwhile, teammate Bryan Clusterfuck Clutterbuck (a known weisenheimer in his own right) wowed teeny boppers as Ralph Malph.

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John Henry Johnson
Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers
1987 Topps #377

Topps Fact: John Henry participated in Little League ball.

Bryan Clutterbuck
Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers
1987 Topps #562

Topps Fact: Bryan enjoys both racquetball and basketball.

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Please note: Any card company "fact" listed on this site was actually printed on the card (ie above). Any other "fact" is a poroduct of GMT's imagination.

About Our Banner

The cards featured in our banner were (amazingly in our eyes) all pulled from the same foot-long box of trading cards. In addition to learning that the 1987 Donruss set featured the ugliest set of portraits ever shot, the box was also the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back in starting this site.

About the lucky banner models...

LaMarr Hoyt
Pitcher, San Diego Padres
1987 Topps #275

Topps Fact: LaMarr's father Dewey, once pitched in the minors.
GMT Fact: Hoytt looks like a mustachioed Buddy Hackett. Is a white guy named "LaMarr."


Danny Frisella
Pitcher, Atlanta Braves
1974 Topps #71

Topps Fact: Learned to throw fork ball from Deigo Segui in Venezuelan Loop.
GMT Fact: Once made me a large pie at Papa's Pizza in Trenton; could be a Mario Bro.



Roy Smalley
Infielder, Minnesota Twins
1987 Donruss #443

Donruss Fact: Set Yankee club record for most HR by a SS (20) in '82.
GMT Fact: Looks functionally retarded. Resembles Wal-Mart greater.

John Candaleria
Pitcher, Pittsburgh Pirates
1983 Topps #755

Topps Fact: July 2, 1982: Scored 2 runs with RBI in win vs. Expos.
GMT Fact: Is a Mexican ninja. Sang back-up for the Commodores.


Jerry Remy
Second Base, Boston Red Sox
1985 Topps #761

Topps Fact: Jerry was All-League pick at Somerset (Mass.) High School twice at shortstop as prep player.
GMT Fact: Remy blames game 6 on Calvin Shiraldi.


Ron Washington
Infielder, Cleveland Indians
1989 Donruss #468

Donruss Fact: Got a new lease on life as an Indian in '88, taking over as their regular SS two months into the season.
GMT Fact: Got a new lease on life pushing a shopping cart collecting cans.