You People Are Sick

As sick as you are funny.

When judging Friday's caption winners, most of the HHR staff came back with the same reaction: "What kind of readers are you attracting over there?"

Demented.

That said, one of you demented folks swept the contest by near unanimous vote...tongent.

• Who does Lynn Jones think he is?

Lynn Jones thinks he gives the number one moustache ride in the Motor City... and you know what, ladies? He's right.

• What is Dave Camp's beverage of choice?

Rick Camp drinks Grape Thunderbird spiked with PCP and hears "Purple Haze" in his head 24 hours a day.

Hope you are all enjoying these as much as we are. We are going to do a couple a week.

FYI: CL's TR "Top Rapist" Bryden will be dropped in the mail tonight.

Fan Friday

An esteemed panel of HHR scribes were joined by guest judge Blog of Hilarity Chris to choose the winners to yesterday's questions:

• What is Jim smoking? (TIE)

jim kern is smoking in the boys room, if you know what i mean --worldclassfad

Jim is smoking hashish and smiling because it's fun to say "hashish" --tonegent

• What does T.R. stand for?

"Top Rapist" by the looks of it. --CL

• What is Mike yelling?

Mike is yelling at the repo man, towing his '74 Monte Carlo out of the parking lot. --mrmatpsu

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Your prize is the actual card. If you actually want them, send us an email with your address. We will rip Jim Kearn in half. Don't worry about him - he likes getting ripped. Heyyyyooo!

Thank you all who playing. We had so much fun, we want to throw another pair up for you to amuse us with.

Today's questions:

• Who does Lynn Jones think he is?
• What is Rick Camp's beverage of choice?

Lynn Jones
Outfielder, Detroit Tigers
1982 Topps #64

Topps Fact: Often used as a defensive replacement and pinch-runner, Lynn had 4 RBI's vs. Yankees, October 4, 1980.
GMT Fact: Often used binoculars to "Beaver Hunt" while riding the pine.

Rick Camp
Pitcher, Atlanta Braves
1981 Topps #87

Topps Fact: Was an All-State football player in high school.
GMT Fact: (Not really, but his willingness to do anything to be able to satisfy addictions garnered him a reputation as a "wide receiver").

Fan Feedback

Help us out...

• What is Jim smoking?
• What does T.R. stand for?
• What is Mike yelling?

List answers in comments.


Jim Kern
Pitcher, Texas Rangers
1982 Topps #463

Topps Fact: Don Money tied record with 12 assists at 2nd base, 6-24-77.
GMT Fact: Jim Kern was so baked during the 1982 season that when he saw Don Money's name on the back of his card, he rolled it into a joint and smoked it while playing a "Two Tickets to Paradise" 45 in his skivvies.

T.R. Bryden
Pitcher, California Angels
1987 Topps #387

Topps Fact: Born: 1-17-59, Moses Lake, Wash.
GMT Fact: T.R.'s mother was a mermaid, his father a trout.

Mike Madden
Pitcher, Houston Astros
1985 Topps #479

Topps Fact: (None given)
GMT Fact: Mike is the victim of his own "Madden Curse" - he only has one testicle.

Fan Friday

Fans have sent over several of their favorite cards that they'd like to include on the site. Each Friday, we'll post some of them here.

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Many folks expressed disappointed that while we noted the resemblence of Craig McMurty to Kip Dynamite, that we failed to acknowledge John Candalaria to Pedro.

Well, we didn't not notice it. We just hadn't gotten to it yet.

Here you go, jackels. Vote for Juan (John).


John Candalaria
Pitcher, California Angels
1987 Donruss #551

Donruss Fact: Led Angels' in ERA in '86
GMT Fact: Well, he had a sweet bike. And he's really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus he's like the only guy at school who had a mustache.

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Reader Adam A. recommend...

• 1987 Topps Ben Ogilvie (Top Right)
  
• 1986 Topps UL Washington
• Any Billy Jo Robidoux card available.

GMT Sidenote: Remember the outrage of "Useless" Washington having the audacity to play with a toothpick in his mouth? WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS!?

One argument was that if a ball hit it, it could lodge in his throat and he could choke. What went unmentioned was the fact that he would also likely end up toothless if a ball hit him in the mouth.

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This is my rifle, this is my gun...

Mark in York, PA recommends...

The first card is a 1989 Score Paul Gibson # 595A. In the background is the SS adjusting his cup! I am almost positive they made a corrected version (# 595B) with a white square covering up the offending hand and crotch. Here's a pic (not my website).

GMT: Whether you remember this card or not, click that link and laugh your ass off.

The SS is Luis Salazar -- there is no mistaking the moustache! I'll check my stash to see if I still have both versions if you think they are blogworthy.

The second card is a 1982 Topps Steve Carlton (card #1 - "Highlights"). "Lefty's" arm seems to have LEFT him!

GMT: While we would in no way consider Lefty a "common man," I'm including it because it always gave me nightmares.

Keep them coming!!!

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Special thanks to all those who linked our new site including...

• The Thrid I
• SI's Hot Clicks
• Yahoo!'s Big League Stew
• Jim Baughbach at Newsday's Final Score
• 3 Idiots on Sports

Apologies if I missed anyone. Email if I did.

Fans Are Already Getting into the Swing of Things

This from one of our favrotite blogs, The Sports Hernia. They look back at some of the more famous errors in sports card history, including Keyrock's '82 Topps rookie that mistakenly listed him as a catcher than at 3rd base...


Click Here for More.