Monday, June 30, 2008

Send 'Em Sveum

Hopefully now that he is no longer with the team, Red Sox fans can now laugh knowing Dale Sveum looked as awkward as a player as he does as a third base coach.
Dale Sveum
Shortstop, Milwaukee Brewers
1989 Topps Big #126

Topps Fact: Dale was an All-Northern California High School Choice in '82.
GMT Fact: To this day, that distinction remains the highlight of his playing career.

Friday, June 27, 2008

South Bend Scott

Scott Radinsky
Pitcher, Chicago White Sox
1992 Topps #701

Topps Fact: Scott's 31 Saves led South Bend (Midwest Lea.) in 1989.
GMT Fact: Coincidentally, "South Bend" is the nickname Sox groupie "Midwest Lea" gave Scott's junk.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Jheri Curl All-Stars

Richie Rich at Home Run Derby presents the "The Jheri Curl All-Stars," featuring, among others, Prime Time and over a half-dozen Dominicans sure to make this site in the near future.

Fundamentally Sound?

No, that's not Luis Lopez showing the proper way to field a ground ball. That's Luis Lopez being weighed down by the humongous medallion around his neck.

Luis Lopez
Infielder, Wichita Wranglers
1991 Line Drive Pre-Rookie #612

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

GMT Hall of Fame Inductee: Juan Berenguer

He pitched as well as he drank tequila and mowed lawns.

His face is that of an angel.

With pride, we induct him.
  • 1989 Topps Big #117
  • 1991 Pinnacle #515
  • 1990 Bowman #410
GMT Bonus Fact: His stepson Tom starred as Jake Taylor in the hit Major League.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Matt Nokes Has Got it Covered

Matt Nokes
Catcher, Detroit Tigers
1990 Fleer #611

Fleer Fact: Home Poway, CA
GMT Fact: Starred as Lenny Barnes alongside forgettable leading man Lewis Smith in the forgettable classic The Heavenly Kid.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Tom Niedenfuer is Mad as Hell

Apparently our failure to post yesterday left Tom Niedenfuer antsy in the pantsy and he decided to show us his "angry face."

Tom Niedenfuer
Pitcher, Los Angeles Dodgers
1987 Topps #538

Topps Fact: He had a 7-3 mark at Washington State University.
GMT: Once a Cougar, now he chases stalks them as they ignore him at bars.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Craig Grebeck Has a Napoleon Complex

Craig Grebeck
Infielder, Chicago White Sox
1992 Fleer #81

Fleer Fact: Craig was one of four rookies to make the Chicago roster out of spring training in 1990.
GMT Fact: Craig, at 5'7" in lifts and a cherub face, likes to caress his mighty lumber.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Reader Participation: Heckle This

Someone's gotten under Jeffrey Leonard's crawl. If you can best tell us how, you win his 1987 Topps card.

Jeffrey Leonard
Outfielder, San Fransisco Giants
1987 Topps #280

Topps Fact: Jeffrey finds relaxation in playing the drums.
GMT Fact: ...naked while smoking a doobie.

Dick Groat

The name alone causes snickers. But when combine the name with a photo of a guy pitching a tent, it's just plain ridiculous.

Dick Groat
Shortstop, St. Louis Cardinals
1988 Pacific Baseball Legends #108

Pacific Fact: Dick led the Pirates to the 1960 World Series hitting a league leading .325, while being named NL Most Valuable Player.
GMT Fact: His name is synonymous with venereal disease.

Friday, June 13, 2008

GMT's Slo-Pitch All-Stars

Dave Stapleton
Second Baseman, Boston Red Sox
1981 Fleer #236

Fleer Fact: ML Avg. .321
GMT Fact: Refuses to acknowledge that there is no base stealing in 10-foot-arc slo-pitch. He has been thrown out 3 times.

Pete O'Brien
First Baseman, Seattle Mariners
1992 Score #141

Score Fact: He excels in scooping up low throws and at turning the 3-6-3 double play.
GMT Fact: Refers to everyone as "Meat," except Bob Kearney who he calls "Shithead."

Bob Kearney
Catcher, Seattle Mariners
1987 Topps #498

Topps Fact: Bob and his wife are parents of a daughter.
GMT Fact: After Kearney sanded down and repainted a Miken composite bat (which he calls his "daughter"), his team would joke that "all it does is make Bob pop-up higher."

GMT Bonus Fact: Bob loves yelling 'COMING DOWN' in situations other than games.

Have You Gotten Your Tickets? the Rob Murphy Gun Show?

Rob Murphy
Pitcher, Boston Red Sox
1990 Fleer #281

Fleer Fact: Walk Ratio: 3.5
GMT Fact: Is a 7th degree yellow belt in Rex-Kwon-Do.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Q: What Do You Get...

When you mix one of the greatest pitchers and one of the greatest hitters to ever play the game with cartoon characters?

A: Crap in your basement.

Nolan Ryan (with Sylvester the Cat)
Pitcher, Texas Rangers
1991 Upper Deck Looney Toons Baseball #97

Reggie Jackson (with Tweety Bird)
Retired, California Angels
1991 Upper Deck Looney Toons Baseball #79

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Re-Airbrush Reid's Cap

While I didn't doctor this card, it looks like someone doctored Reid's cap...and his face for that matter. Perhaps it was an airbrush artist on the Seaside Heights, NJ boardwalk.

Reid doesn't really play for the Sox. This was his Trentonian Softball Player of the Night photo.

There are much better airburshed hats he cold have spent his money on. Personally, I'd have gone with "Booty Hunter."

Reid Nichols
Outfielder, Chicago White Sox
1986 Topps #364

Topps Fact: Born: 8-5-58, Ocala, Fla.
GMT Fact: Reid's eyes are made of Italian marble.

3 Sets You Probably Don't Own

What do the Phanatic, Youppi! and Bad News Brown have in common besides having never been in your kitchen? You probably don't own their trading cards.

Phillie Phanatic
Mascot, Philadelphia Phillies
1992 Donruss Triple Play #133

Triple Play Fact: He has a lot of fun with fans, players, managers and umpires and is very friendly.
GMT Fact: ...unless your name is Lonnie Smith.

Mascot, Montreal Expos
1993 Upper Deck Fun Pack/Mascot Madness

Upper Deck Fact: A young 14 years old, Youppi! still performs with the joy of a rookie as he makes as he makes his way around Olympic Stadium entertaining the fans when things aren't going well for the home team.
GMT Fact: Youppi! has the notorious distinction of being the first mascot thrown out a game, August 23, 1989, and was often ridiculed by players, announcers, fans and fellow mascots alike for being, well, Youppi!. He turned to a life of heavy drinking and spousal abuse.

Bad News Brown
Heel, World Wrestling Federation
1989 Classic WWF #79

Classic Fact: Bad News doesn't have any friends or allies, nor does he want them.
GMT Fact: Bad news doesn't use any deodorant or toothpaste, nor does he want to, thus, the lack of friends and allies.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Your Crap

the chief, ever the artist, passed along the following:

"Here's an artistic rendering of the Marty Barrett baseball i used to have."

Viper: KC's Top Gun

Pat Sheridan
Outfielder, Kansas City Royals
1986 Topps #743

Topps Fact: Pat's first TOPPS cards was: 1984 #121.
GMT Fact: Pat flew with your old man. VF-51, the Oriskany. You're a lot like he was. Only better... and worse. He was a natural heroic son of a bitch that one.

Look Like a Ballplayer

Ron Oester had it all, and by "all" I mean a bunt and a muffin top.

Bunt (or foreign object in trunks)

Do you know the Muffin Man?

Ron Oester
Second Baseman, Cincinnati Reds
1991 Upper Deck #611

Upper Deck Fact: Bats: Both
GMT Fact: Yes, he does. Yes, he does.

Mr. 600

Just a quick post with some random basement finds to commemorate Junior's 600.

The closest I got to his '89 Upper Deck rookie...

I'm not sure what this is, where it came from or why I have it...

Monday, June 9, 2008


Mike Tyson
Second Baseman, Chicago Cubs
1981 Topps #294

Topps Fact: Mike hit his 1st big league Grand-Slammer, 7-5-77.
GMT Fact: Mike hit his 1st wife...repeatedly.

When did "Grand-Slammer" become a stat?

Why Get Lasik When You Can Rock These?

Alan Knicely
Catcher, Philadelphia Phillies
1986 Topps #418

Topps Fact: He collected 1st major league Hit: 9-17-81.
GMT Fact: Also collects robots. Lost a bet with Dave Collins over who could rock bigger specs. Had to grow a Billy Crystal beard.

Dave Collins
Outfielder, Detroit Tigers
1987 Donruss #215

Donruss Fact: Ranked 2nd on Tigers in stolen bases last year.
GMT Fact: Once bullied Ricky Henderson into racing him in his underwear. To add insult to injury (because that's the kind of guy Dave was), he had a photog on hand to document the entire thing.

Rickey Hendersdon
Left Fielder, Oakland Athletics
1991 Score Dream Team #890 (DT 10 of 13)

Score Fact: Rickey infuriates, distracts and disrupts an opponent better than anyone in the game.
GMT Fact: Rickey butchers, flubs and massacres the English language more than anyone on the planet.

Friday, June 6, 2008

We Want Your Crap

I not only collect all things card-related, but most things sports-related. Here at GMT, I strive to not only provide you with crappy cardboard memories, but crappy memorabilia as well.

I threw up the Hug Signal at HHR to see who has the worst memorabilia, and the chief and Fat Willard were the first to respond. Their crap will be popping up shortly. But let's not limit this. We want your crap, too. Let's make this a 70s-80s-90s repository for sports-related crap.

Allow me to get the ball rolling, and I challenge you to top this before I break out the big guns...

Below is a 1991 Phillies Spring Training Game Program autographed by Mickey Morandini, Joe Boever and (I believe) Manager Nick Leyva.

Whats the Second Name...?

Mike Cubbage?

If there was one thing I loved more than collecting cards, it was crank calls.

I understand (about a year ago) Howard Stern introduced to the world the Bum Bar Bastards, a duo whose tape I listened to religiously throughout high school.

There was one throw-away call that I always laughed at, for no other reason than the victim grumbles the name "Mike Cubbage."

Mike Cubbage
Third Baseman, Minnesota Twins
1981 Topps #657

Topps Fact: Attended the University of Virginia, Charlottesville, Virginia.
GMT Fact: Forever a part of crank call lore.

The Beckett Weather Report: June 1993

Like most avid collectors, I eagerly awaited the arrival of a new Beckett Baseball Card Monthly each month so that I could seethe with jealousy over Tommy Wheatley's gig and look up the values of some of my prized cards in hopes of retiring at the age of 16.

Having saved most of the issues like the junk hoarder I am, it's interesting now to look back at some of the commentary the magazines provided.

15 years ago, the one-armed bandit Jim Abbott graced the cover, donned in a Yankees spring training uni and the back cover featured Bo Jackson in his White Sox black and white.

MLB was also on the cusp of its draft. Beckett wondered if possible #1 picks Darren Dreifort and and Alex Rodriquez had the stuff to become hobby mainstays like Frank Thomas, Ken Griffey Jr., Barry Bonds...and quick- riser Brien Taylor, the "brash, flame-throwing left-hander [who] landed on the Hot list almost immediately, bolstered by pre-draft hype." Or would A-Rod and Dreifort go the way of 1984 #1 Shawn Abner (no and yes).

Speaking of the Hot/Cold list, it always amazed me how you were sure to find the likes of Pete Rose and Bo Jackson somewhere around the top of the Cold list, despite being two of the most memorable athletes in the game's history.

What also perplexed me was how some players found themselves on both lists.

Take a look at the June 1993 lists.

Bo, Jose Canseco, David Justice each found themselves on both lists. As did Frank Thomas, who despite being #1 on the Hot list, was #9 on the Cold list.

While the Hot list features some of the game's all-time legends, it also features nobodies and/or flash in the pans like Rookie of the Year Pat Listach, Rockies/Marlins #1s like David Neid and Nigel Wilson, and Cal Eldred.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Reader Participation: Pen Pals

Each of these talented ballplayers wrote "How-To..." books, hence their insistence on being immortalized on cardboard with a pen in their hand.

What was the title of each of their books?

Barry Jones
Pitcher, Pittsburgh Pirates
1987 Topps #494

Topps Fact: He attended Indiana University, Bloomington, Ind.
GMT Fact: So, to answer your question, no, he is not as stupid as he looks.

John Butcher
Pitcher, Minnesota Twins
1985 Topps #741

Topps Fact: Attended Yavapai College, Prescott, Arizona.
GMT Fact: Despite the tough sounding name, Butcher is actually a pacifist and refused to participate in any strap matches at Yavapai.

Tony Phillips
Shortstop-Second Baseman, Oakland Athletics
1986 Topps #29.

Topps Fact: First major league Home Run: 4-16-83.
GMT Fact: Lead all AL rookies in Grab-Assing in 1982.

You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

Geoff Zahn
Pitcher, California Angels
1986 Topps #42

Topps Fact: Born: 12-19-45, Baltimore, MD.
GMT Fact: Crisco, Bardol, Vagisil. Any one of them would give Zahn another two to three inches drop on his curve ball. Of course if the umps were watching him real close, he'd rub a little jalapeƱo up his nose, get it runnin', and if he needed to load the ball up he just...wiped his nose.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Rick Mahler's Dating Advice

Rick Mahler
Pitcher, Atlanta Braves
1989 Donruss #222

Donruss Fact: Led Braves in wins, strikeouts and ERA among starters in '88.
GMT Fact: Mahler was known as a clubhouse leader - always willing to dole out words of wisdom, solicited or otherwise. His dating advise to younger Bravos was as legendary as it was simple...

GMT Bonus Fact: Tried out as a member of both the Fabulous Freebirds and the Rock n' Roll Express with Ted Turner's NWA/WCW during his time in Atlanta.

Da Bomb

Steve Yeager
Catcher, Los Angeles Dodgers
1986 Topps #32

Topps Fact: Acq: Via Draft
GMT Fact: Steve's hard partying ways were notorious around and about SoCal. By fathering dozens of illegitimate children, most of which conceived during late-night benders with Blue-Bleeding groupies, his legacy lives on. One such bastard son honors his father nightly with rounds of Yeager Baaaaaams and dry humping on the dance floor.


Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Frick...Frack...And Hack...

Can anyone tell me who these other two jack knobs are or what their shirts should say?

Gary DiSarcina
Shortstop, California Angels
1993 Upper Deck #230

Upper Deck Fact: In honor of retired NBA superstar Larry Bird, DiSarcina changed his uniform number from 11 to 33.
GMT Fact: Larry Bird could give a rats ass. DiSarcina changes numbers more frequently than he does underwear.

It's A Different World

From where Kevin Belcher comes from.

Kevin Belcher
Outfielder, Texas Rangers
1991 Upper Deck #26

Upper Deck Fact: Kevin is the hardest worker in the Texas Ranger organization.
GMT Fact: Kevin was the hardest worker in the Hillman College dorms, pulling all sorts of HBC tail. Middle name is "Cleophus."

Monday, June 2, 2008

You People Are Sick

As sick as you are funny.

When judging Friday's caption winners, most of the HHR staff came back with the same reaction: "What kind of readers are you attracting over there?"


That said, one of you demented folks swept the contest by near unanimous vote...tongent.
  • Who does Lynn Jones think he is?
Lynn Jones thinks he gives the number one moustache ride in the Motor City... and you know what, ladies? He's right.
  • What is Dave Camp's beverage of choice?
Rick Camp drinks Grape Thunderbird spiked with PCP and hears "Purple Haze" in his head 24 hours a day.

Hope you are all enjoying these as much as we are. We are going to do a couple a week.

FYI: CL's TR "Top Rapist" Bryden will be dropped in the mail tonight.

Milwaukee's Holy Diver

Charlie Moore
Catcher, Milwaukee Brewers
1987 Donruss #372

Donruss Fact: Had 13 OF assists in '82.
GMT Fact: This would be impressive had he not been a catcher. These antics very much frustrated the Brew Crew's pitching staff, namely their "enforcer" Mark Clear who is said to have beaten the tar out of Charlie in an incident in which he ripped his mustache off with his bare hands.

Mark Clear
Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers
1989 Donruss #528

Donurss Fact: Lead Brewers in appearances in '87.
GMT Fact: Undefeated in clubhouse staring contests in '87. Looking into Clear's eyes is said to be equivalent to seeing the devil himself. Once ran sound checks for Ronnie James Dio.

Jack 'em Up

Jerry Don Gleaton
Pitcher, Detroit Tigers
1991 Topps #597

Topps Fact: Jerry Don led AA with .800 Pct. at Buffalo in 1985.
GMT Fact: Jerry's Don's stint in AA was marred by the fact that he refused to acknowledge a power greater than himself. However, an .800 Pct. is quite high considering it was at a Buffalo AA (hence him leading the pack).

GMT Bonus Fact: Laugh if you will, Jerry Don doesn't give a sh*t what you kids say about his pants being halfway up his torso. He happens to like the way his trousers feel wedging up his ass. Got a problem with that? Didn't think so.