Proabably a Borderline Inappropriate Post

Angel Salazar
Shortstop, Kansas City Royals
1987 Donruss #624

Donruss Fact: Split the '84 season between Expos and their Indianapolis farm.
GMT Fact: Not surprisingly, proved to be one of the farm's top tomato pickers, but was sent back to Montreal when failing to show proper immigration papers to Indiana Department of Labor field inspectors.

His "papers" were said to have listed him as "Fred Weinstein from Bloomington."

Macho Man

Here's a name Tribe fans can remember and laugh at...

Ernie "Macho" Camacho
Pitcher, Cleveland Indians
1986 Topps #509
1987 Topps #353
1987 Donruss #350


jdbaseball at MLBlog's "The Game" retells some Camacho tales from a 1995 Sporting News article by Sheldon Ocker:

Mesa is the most effective relief pitcher the Indians have had, but he is not the most memorable in my 15 seasons covering, the team. That distinction belongs to Ernie Camacho, who saved games for the Indians from 1983 through '87.

Click here to read his bizarre, and anything but macho, escapades.

Why Get Lasik When You Can Rock These?

Alan Knicely
Catcher, Philadelphia Phillies
1986 Topps #418

Topps Fact: He collected 1st major league Hit: 9-17-81.
GMT Fact: Also collects robots. Lost a bet with Dave Collins over who could rock bigger specs. Had to grow a Billy Crystal beard.

Dave Collins
Outfielder, Detroit Tigers
1987 Donruss #215

Donruss Fact: Ranked 2nd on Tigers in stolen bases last year.
GMT Fact: Once bullied Ricky Henderson into racing him in his underwear. To add insult to injury (because that's the kind of guy Dave was), he had a photog on hand to document the entire thing.


Rickey Hendersdon
Left Fielder, Oakland Athletics
1991 Score Dream Team #890 (DT 10 of 13)

Score Fact: Rickey infuriates, distracts and disrupts an opponent better than anyone in the game.
GMT Fact: Rickey butchers, flubs and massacres the English language more than anyone on the planet.

Milwaukee's Holy Diver

Charlie Moore
Catcher, Milwaukee Brewers
1987 Donruss #372

Donruss Fact: Had 13 OF assists in '82.
GMT Fact: This would be impressive had he not been a catcher. These antics very much frustrated the Brew Crew's pitching staff, namely their "enforcer" Mark Clear who is said to have beaten the tar out of Charlie in an incident in which he ripped his mustache off with his bare hands.

Mark Clear
Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers
1989 Donruss #528

Donurss Fact: Lead Brewers in appearances in '87.
GMT Fact: Undefeated in clubhouse staring contests in '87. Looking into Clear's eyes is said to be equivalent to seeing the devil himself. Once ran sound checks for Ronnie James Dio.

Foghat, Spectrum, 1976

The 1980's had no shortage of hard rockin' ballplayers.

The following group, who liked to refer to themselves collectively as the "Night Shifters," caused a ruckus in the Spectrum parking lot in 1976 when they commandeered a tailgating Winnebago and offered "free high hard ones" to any ladies offering coke. Randy Lerch was eventually locked up over night (and subsequently missed the concert) after soliciting an undercover officer after wandering into FDR Park.

Randy Lerch
Pitcher, Philadelphia Phillies
1981 Topps #584

Topps Fact: Topped Eastern League with 16 Wins at Reading in 1975.
GMT Fact: It took him the entire off-season to grow the mustache on his 1981 Topps card, but only 3 days to grow out his hair.

Barry Jones
Pitcher, Pittsburgh Pirates
1987 Donruss #602

Donruss Fact:Busy Middle Reliver in his rookie season last year with the Pirates, ranked 3rd on club in ERA.
GMT Fact: Barry Jones preferred the BOC to Foghat.

Ed Whitson
Pitcher, San Diego Padres
1987 Donruss #360
Donruss Fact: Named to '80 All Star team en route to 11-13, 3.10 ERA with Giants.
GMT Fact: Card makers were equally disgusted and in awe of Ed's gastrointestinal prowess during photo shoots. Topps decided that they'd immortalize him in the form of one of their Garbage Pail Kids. After being bogged down in litigation, to get around paying the Players Association for the rights to his name and likeness, they made him black and called him "Windy Winston."


Dave Frost
Pitcher, California Angels
1981 Topps #286

Topps Fact: He learned the palm ball from his Junior College coach.
GMT Fact: He learned the stink palm from Joe Beckwirth. When he was 31 he took my cousin to prom.

Joe Beckwirth
Pitcher, Los Angeles Dodgers
1983 Fleer #202

Fleer Fact: Had 2.70 ERA in 1982, second highest on the squad.
GMT Fact: That's the only time Beckwirth was ever described as the "second highest." He took great exception to this.

Pretty Boys

Tim Leary
Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers
1987 Topps #32

Topps Fact: Tim pitched for US Team which finished 2nd in World Cup Tournamnet in Bologna, Italy, 1978.
GMT Fact: Actual Conversation...

Leary: Ok, Ladies, which of you will be lucky enough to go home with Tim Leary tonight?
Ladies: Who the f*ck is Tim Leary?
Leary: I played Jake Ryan.
Ladies: Niiiiccee.


Worked every time.

Randy Ready
Third Baseman-Outfielder, Milwaukee Brewers
1986 Topps #209

Topps Fact: He collected 1st major league Hit: 9-12-83.
GMT Fact: Seeing what luck teammate Tim Leary had posing as Jake Ryan, Ready tried to convince ladies that he was Long Duk Dong. When that didn't work, he grew a mustache and hit up a few gay bars.


Zane Smith
Pitcher, Atlanta Braves
1987 Donruss #167

Donruss Fact: Ranked 3rd on the Braves in wins and 2nd in strikeouts last year.
GMT Fact: Punched in the face by Ken Oberkfell for calling him "dude" despite numerous requests by Ken for him to "cut that sh*t out." Oberkfell had no tolerance for people from Wisconsin posing as stoner surfers.


Jim Slaton
Pitcher, California Angels
1986 Topps #579

Topps Fact: Born 6-19-50, Long Beach, Calif.
GMT Fact: Slaton now coaches Little League and was convinced by players' mothers that he could make a killing as a Chippendale on the side, despite pushing 60. They were right.

Never Trust a Man with Two First Names...

...a bushy mustache and arms that look as though he is wearing a black wool sweater under his baseball uniform.

Andre David
Outfielder, Minnesota Twins
1987 Donruss #519

Donruss Fact: Batted .266 with 8 HR and 38 RBI at Toledo in '85.
GMT Fact: Spent the summer of '86 touring as Fozzy Bear in the Sesame Street Production of Follow That Bird.

He's LaCock of the Walk, Baby

Pete LaCock
First Baseman, Outfielder, Kansas City Royals
1981 Topps #9

Topps Fact: Pete hit .364 with 2 Doubles & one Triple for the Royals vs. Yankees in 1978 A.L. Championships.
GMT Fact: After half a speed ball during a late-night bender with Chris Codiroli & Craig Lefferts in Ybor City, Fla. in '74, Codiroli & Lefferts convinced Peter Pecker that he should change his name to something much less embarrassing to avoid further ridicule as a pro ballplayer. The next day, he filed paperwork to become "Pete LaCock." It's French.

GMT Bonus Fact: Pete LeCock never got along with Rusty Kuntz.


Chris Codiroli
Pitcher, Oakland Athletics
1987 Topps #217

Topps Fact: He and his wife have 2 children.
GMT Fact: He and his mistresses have 7.


Craig Lefferts
Pitcher, San Diego Padres
1987 Donruss #387

Donruss Fact: Signed by Cubs out of Arizona U. in '80.
GMT Fact: Spent first MLB paycheck on a Camaro and an "F.B.I.: Female Body Inspector" t-shirt.

Fan Friday

Fans have sent over several of their favorite cards that they'd like to include on the site. Each Friday, we'll post some of them here.

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Many folks expressed disappointed that while we noted the resemblence of Craig McMurty to Kip Dynamite, that we failed to acknowledge John Candalaria to Pedro.

Well, we didn't not notice it. We just hadn't gotten to it yet.

Here you go, jackels. Vote for Juan (John).


John Candalaria
Pitcher, California Angels
1987 Donruss #551

Donruss Fact: Led Angels' in ERA in '86
GMT Fact: Well, he had a sweet bike. And he's really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus he's like the only guy at school who had a mustache.

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Reader Adam A. recommend...

• 1987 Topps Ben Ogilvie (Top Right)
  
• 1986 Topps UL Washington
• Any Billy Jo Robidoux card available.

GMT Sidenote: Remember the outrage of "Useless" Washington having the audacity to play with a toothpick in his mouth? WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS!?

One argument was that if a ball hit it, it could lodge in his throat and he could choke. What went unmentioned was the fact that he would also likely end up toothless if a ball hit him in the mouth.

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This is my rifle, this is my gun...

Mark in York, PA recommends...

The first card is a 1989 Score Paul Gibson # 595A. In the background is the SS adjusting his cup! I am almost positive they made a corrected version (# 595B) with a white square covering up the offending hand and crotch. Here's a pic (not my website).

GMT: Whether you remember this card or not, click that link and laugh your ass off.

The SS is Luis Salazar -- there is no mistaking the moustache! I'll check my stash to see if I still have both versions if you think they are blogworthy.

The second card is a 1982 Topps Steve Carlton (card #1 - "Highlights"). "Lefty's" arm seems to have LEFT him!

GMT: While we would in no way consider Lefty a "common man," I'm including it because it always gave me nightmares.

Keep them coming!!!

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Special thanks to all those who linked our new site including...

• The Thrid I
• SI's Hot Clicks
• Yahoo!'s Big League Stew
• Jim Baughbach at Newsday's Final Score
• 3 Idiots on Sports

Apologies if I missed anyone. Email if I did.

Sons of Andy Etchebarren

(1967 Topps #457)

While the majority of my card span the 1970-80s, I salvaged some earlier cards from my grandmother's flooded basement that belonged to my father and uncles. Among them were a Roger Marris, Johnny Unitas, Brian Piccolo (Rookie) and a 1967 Andy Etchebarren.

Who? You might ask.

Well, only the Johnny Appleseed of 60's ballplayers.

Etchebarren was known to have father several offspring who later went on to become MLB "stars" in the 1980's, all united by the "Etchebarren brow."


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Jeff Montgomery
Pitcher, Kansas City Royals
1989 Donruss #440

Donruss Fact: Emerged as a key member of the KC bullpen last year, ranking 4th on the team in ERA and 2nd in appearances.
GMT Fact: Montgomery's "Angry Face" was strikingly similar to his "Smiley Face" (pictured above).

Sammy Stewart
Cleveland Indians
1988 Topp #701

Topps Fact: Sammy pitched a 7-inning 1-0 no-hitter for Miami for Winter Haven, July 20, 1976.
GMT Fact: Sammy Stewart wasn't Mr. and Mrs. Stewart's favorite player.

Frank Tanana
Pitcher, Detroit Tigers
1987 Donruss #152

Donruss Fact: Had lowest ERA among Texas starters in '84.
GMT Fact: Teammates were so relentless in tormenting Tanana about his Etchebarren brow that he spent the entire 1990's wearing over-sized shades before realizing he could simply tweeze.

1991 Upper Deck #369
Bonus GMT Fact: His little game of "Find Tanana's Banana" had few takers over the years.

When Gingivits Attacks

Bob James
Pitcher, Chicago White Sox
1987 Donruss #493

Donruss Fact: Sidelined final 2 months last year with torn muscle in his forearm but led White Sox in saves for the 2nd straight season.
GMT Fact: Cares little for dental hygiene. Doesn't floss.

Gather Around Kiddies

Uncle Robbie wants to show you how not to bunt. If this isn't the most amazing display of recklessness at bat you've ever seen, I don't know what is. Robert Donald Wilfong is begging to have his hand broken here. And for some reason he is smiling (I think).

What's better, his "Career Highlights" on the back of the card reads: "Had 12 bunt hits in his 1st major lg. season ('77)...Led AL in sacrifices (25) in '79."

Obviously, Rob took the term "sacrifice" a little too literal.

Rob Nilfong
Second Base, California Angels
1987 Dunruss #258

Donruss Fact: Had 12 bunt hits in his 1st major lg. season ('77)...Led AL in sacrifices (25) in '79.
GMT Fact: Known to have a deep resentment for and unhealthy infatuation with Keith Hernandez. Spent large sums of money undergoing extensive cosmetic surgery in an attempt to resemble the Cards/Mets first baseman.

Look at Us!

We have no chins!

Howard Hilton
Pitcher, St. Louis Cardinals
1990 Bowman #189

Bowman Fact: Howard made his Professional Baseball debut at Erie in 1985. He pitched at Louisville in 1989.
GMT Fact: Hilton liked the way his chest hair felt against the mesh spring training unis.

Ed Lynch
Pitcher, Chicago Cubs
1987 Topps # 697

Topps Fact: Ed lists reading and sailing among his hobbies.
GMT Fact: Ed couldn't take a worse picture if he tried. And try he did.

Billy Jo Robidoux
First Base/Designated Hitter, Milwaukee Brewers
1987 Donruss #240

Donruss Fact: Gave every indication of being one of the top hitting rookies in baseball last year until felled by a knew injury.
GMT Fact: Billy Jo's '87 Donruss gave every indication of being one of the top cards in the set, until felled by an SBD fart that produced his disgusted facial expression.

Randy Veres
Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers
1990 Bowman #390

Bowman Fact: (None listed. However noted that he was the Brew Crew's #1 pick in Jan. 1985. So he has that going for him. Which is nice.)
GMT Fact: Is cockeyed in addition to having no chin.

About Our Banner

The cards featured in our banner were (amazingly in our eyes) all pulled from the same foot-long box of trading cards. In addition to learning that the 1987 Donruss set featured the ugliest set of portraits ever shot, the box was also the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back in starting this site.

About the lucky banner models...

LaMarr Hoyt
Pitcher, San Diego Padres
1987 Topps #275

Topps Fact: LaMarr's father Dewey, once pitched in the minors.
GMT Fact: Hoytt looks like a mustachioed Buddy Hackett. Is a white guy named "LaMarr."


Danny Frisella
Pitcher, Atlanta Braves
1974 Topps #71

Topps Fact: Learned to throw fork ball from Deigo Segui in Venezuelan Loop.
GMT Fact: Once made me a large pie at Papa's Pizza in Trenton; could be a Mario Bro.



Roy Smalley
Infielder, Minnesota Twins
1987 Donruss #443

Donruss Fact: Set Yankee club record for most HR by a SS (20) in '82.
GMT Fact: Looks functionally retarded. Resembles Wal-Mart greater.

John Candaleria
Pitcher, Pittsburgh Pirates
1983 Topps #755

Topps Fact: July 2, 1982: Scored 2 runs with RBI in win vs. Expos.
GMT Fact: Is a Mexican ninja. Sang back-up for the Commodores.


Jerry Remy
Second Base, Boston Red Sox
1985 Topps #761

Topps Fact: Jerry was All-League pick at Somerset (Mass.) High School twice at shortstop as prep player.
GMT Fact: Remy blames game 6 on Calvin Shiraldi.


Ron Washington
Infielder, Cleveland Indians
1989 Donruss #468

Donruss Fact: Got a new lease on life as an Indian in '88, taking over as their regular SS two months into the season.
GMT Fact: Got a new lease on life pushing a shopping cart collecting cans.