Stop Me If You've Heard This One...

A Bush, A Dick, A Colin and An A-Hole walk into a war...


President George H.W. Bush
Commander in Cheif, United States of America
1991 Topps Desert Storm - 3rd Series #177



Secretary Dick Cheney
Secretary of Defense, United States of America
1991 Topps Desert Storm - 3rd Series #179

General Colin Powell
Chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff
1991 Topps Desert Storm #2

Saddam Hussein
Dictatorial President, Iraq
1991 Topps Desert Storm - 3rd Series #189

Jerry Reed, Madball

Jerry Reed
Pitcher, Seattle Mariners
1990 Dunruss #614

Donruss Fact: 2nd on Mariners in appearances in '88 and 3rd in '89.
GMT Fact: Was immortalized as the iconic 80's Madball "Screamin' Meemie."

Before They Were Stars

I came across a goldmine of unintentional comedy when I recently inherited a 1980 Philadelphia Phillies yearbook.

I'll be periodically scanning things in and posting both here and at HHR.

Before they were big league juicers and heart breakers, Bret and Aaron Boone appeared in the yearbook with their parents and younger brother, Matthew, whom they now affectionately refer to as the "Cooper Manning" of the family.

Damn, Lying Dominicans

Nice air cast.

Andres Santana
Shortstop, San Francisco Giants
1990 Bowman #230

Bowman Fact: He played at San Jose in 1989.
GMT Fact: Long before Miguel Tejada made headlines for blowing up during an ESPN interview over suspicious questions about his age, fellow Dominican shortstop Andres Santana was engaged in similar shenanigans. While his 1990 Bowman Card lists him as being born on 3-19-68, numerous baseball reference sites actually list him as being born 2-5-68. Regardless of his age, he sucked.

For All You Comic Book Nuts Out There...

This site is for you...

Kids, Don't Get Too Close

Rick Waits
Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers
1986 Topps #614

Topps Fact: His 1st major league One-Hitter: 4-7-79
GMT Fact: Rick Waits...and stares...and touches himself inappropriately.

For the Love of the Game

Ernie Whitt
Catcher, Atlanta Braves
1990 Bowman #16

Bowman Fact: Acq: Trade with Blue Jays, 12-18-89.
GMT Fact: Earned his acting chops as Kevin Costner's battery mate in the 1999 classic, For the Love of the Game.

For Pete's Sake, Kurt

You can't take the lipper out for three seconds to snap a damn picture?

Kurt Kepshire
Pitcher, St. Louis Cardinals
1986 Topps #256

Topps Fact: He earned his 1st major league Win: 7-4-84.
GMT Fact: His girlfriend threatened to leave him because he dipped. He called her bluff.

The Carpets Match the Drapes

Hey, it was the 70's.

Courtesy of reader Jay Dubs...


Oscar Gamble
Outfielder-Designated Hitter, Cleveland Indians
1975 Topps #213

Sixto Lezcano
Outfielder, Milwaukee Brewers
1977 Topps #185

Ross Grimsley
Pitcher, Cleveland Indians
1981 Topps #170

Alright Boys, Act Like Catchers

Whats more beautiful, the way in which they squat down and take pride in their position, or the sweet smell of spring training in the background?

Love how with the exception of Berryhill, none bothers to put on their equipment. Here's hoping they were sans cup and opened themselves up to a Vin di Bona smorgasbord.

Damon Berryhill
Catcher, Chicago Cubs
1990 Bowman #33

Bill Schroeder
Catcher, Milwaukee Brewers
1989 Topps # 563

Jim Sundberg
Catcher, Texas Rangers
1989 Topps #78

Jody Davis
Catcher, Chicago Cubs ("Now With Braves")
1989 Topps #115

Scott Bradley
Catcher, Seattle Mariners
1990 Bowman #483

Balls Out

On his 1991 Upper Deck card, Geno Petralli demonstrates the dual meaning of the phrase "Balls Out."


Geno Peralli
Catcher, Texas Rangers
1991 Upper Deck #492

You Know It's You Babe

Throughout the 80's, Twins pitcher John "JB" Butcher moonlighted as a guitarist for the band Styx under the stage name James "JY" Young. He can be found today on the Indian casino/state fair circuit with members of REO Speedwagon and Journey.

John Butcher
Pitcher, Minnesota Twins
1986 Topps #638

Topps Fact: Earned his 1st major league Win: 9-8-80.
GMT Fact: To this day, still considered among the ugliest players in Twins history.

It Was All a Dream. He Used to Read Word Up Magazine.

Frank White
Second Baseman, Kansas City Royals
1987 Topps #692

Topps Fact: ACQ: Free Agent, 7-2-70
GMT Fact: So popular in the black community in the 1970's & 80's was longtime Royals' second baseman Frank White, that Biggie Smalls aka Big Poppa aka The Notorious B.I.G. paid homage to him by adopting his name.

Totally Natural

Luis Gonzalez
1st Baseman, Houston Astros
1991 Fleer #507

Fleer Fact: Weight: 180
GMT Fact: Luis Gonzalez has never used PEDs and resents you insinuating that he has. He's still just the same skinny, ugly kid from Tampa that he's always been.

Hey There, Amigo

Tony Armas
Outfielder, California Angels
1989 Topps Big #99

Topps Fact: Tony comes from a family of '14 children.'
GMT Fact: Not sure why Topps felt the need to parenthesize '14 children,' but I digress.

This '89 Topps Big card was one of the few times Armas allowed himself to be photographed without his trusty donkey.

Create-A-Caption

Steve Bedrosian
Pitcher, Minnesota Twins
1992 Upper Deck #622

"Hey, Bedrock! I got some balls for you to shag!"

Sticks and Stones

Pete Ladd
Pitcher, Seattle Mariners
1987 Topps #572

Topps Fact: Pete is affectionately nicknamed "Big Foot."
GMT Fact: Beats his old nickname "ShitForBrains," but not by much.

Screw You, Giver of Life

Ken Phelps
First Baseman/Designated Hitter, Seattle Mariners
1988 Donruss #489

Donruss Fact: Ranked 3rd on Mariners in RBI last year despite platooning at DH.
GMT Fact: Kenny Phelps may get bested every once in a while when he faces a tough pitcher, but Michael's crazy uncle will NEVER let the sun get the best of him.

Fan Friday: Bless NESW's Bleeding Heart

Leave it up to a bleeding heart do-gooder to embarrass himself while waving the flag of "decency."

We like Ethan Jaynes. We do.

But his post at NESW Sports, "Gem Mint Ten has gone too far, Video," is laughably hypocritical.

In an attempt to raise the social consciousness of our GMT readers by preaching racial tolerance towards our brothers across our southern border, in response to yesterday's Angel Salazar post, Ethan preaches:

"Mexican Americans are much more than picking tomatoes. I am tired of the stereotypes. I could write down all of the OTHER things Mexican Americans do, but I will leave it to this video. I would like to personally thank Cheech and Chong for opening my mind to other ways of thinking, and I hope the folks and Gem Mint Ten watch the vid."

I guess to Ethan, all Hispanics are "Mexican" or better yet, "Mexican American."

See, had Ethan just ran a simple web search, he would know that Salazar is neither "Mexican" nor "Mexican American," but Venezuelan.

Proabably a Borderline Inappropriate Post

Angel Salazar
Shortstop, Kansas City Royals
1987 Donruss #624

Donruss Fact: Split the '84 season between Expos and their Indianapolis farm.
GMT Fact: Not surprisingly, proved to be one of the farm's top tomato pickers, but was sent back to Montreal when failing to show proper immigration papers to Indiana Department of Labor field inspectors.

His "papers" were said to have listed him as "Fred Weinstein from Bloomington."