Totally Natural

Luis Gonzalez
1st Baseman, Houston Astros
1991 Fleer #507

Fleer Fact: Weight: 180
GMT Fact: Luis Gonzalez has never used PEDs and resents you insinuating that he has. He's still just the same skinny, ugly kid from Tampa that he's always been.

Hey There, Amigo

Tony Armas
Outfielder, California Angels
1989 Topps Big #99

Topps Fact: Tony comes from a family of '14 children.'
GMT Fact: Not sure why Topps felt the need to parenthesize '14 children,' but I digress.

This '89 Topps Big card was one of the few times Armas allowed himself to be photographed without his trusty donkey.

Create-A-Caption

Steve Bedrosian
Pitcher, Minnesota Twins
1992 Upper Deck #622

"Hey, Bedrock! I got some balls for you to shag!"

Sticks and Stones

Pete Ladd
Pitcher, Seattle Mariners
1987 Topps #572

Topps Fact: Pete is affectionately nicknamed "Big Foot."
GMT Fact: Beats his old nickname "ShitForBrains," but not by much.

Screw You, Giver of Life

Ken Phelps
First Baseman/Designated Hitter, Seattle Mariners
1988 Donruss #489

Donruss Fact: Ranked 3rd on Mariners in RBI last year despite platooning at DH.
GMT Fact: Kenny Phelps may get bested every once in a while when he faces a tough pitcher, but Michael's crazy uncle will NEVER let the sun get the best of him.

Fan Friday: Bless NESW's Bleeding Heart

Leave it up to a bleeding heart do-gooder to embarrass himself while waving the flag of "decency."

We like Ethan Jaynes. We do.

But his post at NESW Sports, "Gem Mint Ten has gone too far, Video," is laughably hypocritical.

In an attempt to raise the social consciousness of our GMT readers by preaching racial tolerance towards our brothers across our southern border, in response to yesterday's Angel Salazar post, Ethan preaches:

"Mexican Americans are much more than picking tomatoes. I am tired of the stereotypes. I could write down all of the OTHER things Mexican Americans do, but I will leave it to this video. I would like to personally thank Cheech and Chong for opening my mind to other ways of thinking, and I hope the folks and Gem Mint Ten watch the vid."

I guess to Ethan, all Hispanics are "Mexican" or better yet, "Mexican American."

See, had Ethan just ran a simple web search, he would know that Salazar is neither "Mexican" nor "Mexican American," but Venezuelan.

Proabably a Borderline Inappropriate Post

Angel Salazar
Shortstop, Kansas City Royals
1987 Donruss #624

Donruss Fact: Split the '84 season between Expos and their Indianapolis farm.
GMT Fact: Not surprisingly, proved to be one of the farm's top tomato pickers, but was sent back to Montreal when failing to show proper immigration papers to Indiana Department of Labor field inspectors.

His "papers" were said to have listed him as "Fred Weinstein from Bloomington."

Angel Eyes

Tim Flannery
Infielder, San Diego Padres
1988 Donruss #328

Donruss Fact: Enjoyed another fine season as Padres' No.1 utility infielder last year.
GMT Fact: 6' in shoes, blond haired and blue eyed, Tim was often referred to (mockingly) by teammates as "Hitler's Wet Dream."

GMT Bonus Fact: Tim hit .228 in 1987 with 0 HRs. Another fine season indeed.

The Jackson 6

While Michael, Marlon, Tito, Jermaine and Randy inherited Joe Jackson's musical talent and rhythm, young Ron inherited his father's facial hair and ability to swing a heavy piece of lumber.

Ron Jackson
First Baseman, Minnesota Twins
1981 Topps #631

Topps Fact: Led PCL 3rd basemen with 31 D.P.'s at Salt Lake City in 1975.
GMT Fact: The infamous sexually-charged road antics of the Jackson brothers, for instance Ron's D.P.'s, were said to have played a large role in traumatizing an impressionable Michael.

Lets Get Fitshaced

If you look closely at this card, Charlie Kerfeld, who looks like the derelict woodsman son of Wayne Newton, is sporting an awesome mullet and stud earring.

Charlie Kerfeld
Pitcher, Houston Astros
1988 Topps #608

Topps Fact: Was South Atlantic League Pitcher of the Year in 1983.
GMT Fact: He will never go down as one of the greatest pitchers in MLB history, but he gave one of the league's most unforgettable interviews.