HHR: 1977: The Year of the Pro Slo-Pitch Player

The 70's was a different era. It was a time when a man was a man, and wasn't afraid to flaunt his masculinity.

It was also a time of cockamamie ideas as evidenced by the short-lived and ill-fated American Professional Slo-Pitch League - a startup founded by a gentleman named Bill Bryne that featured a dozen teams, including the manly Pittsburgh Hardhats, Kentucky Bourbons, and perhaps the toughest team of all, the Minnesota Goofy's.

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Unconventional Methods

Brady Anderson
Outfielder, Baltimore Orioles
1991 Donruss #668

Donruss Fact: Career Homeruns (3 Seasons): 8
GMT Fact: Taking a page from Looney Toons, Anderson stepped into the batters box in '91 with an unheard of 7 bats in his hand. When that did little to improve his power numbers, he turned to sticking needles in his ass.

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Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen?

Ooooh sorry. The correct question was, "Who are 1984's three AL active career strikeout leaders, two of which will never be Hall of Famers?"


Bert Blyleven
Pitcher, Cleveland Indians
Don Sutton
Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers
Jerry Koosman
Pitcher, Chicago White Sox
1984 Topps #716

Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?
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Cocaine is a Powerful Drug

Doc Gooden
Pitcher, New York Mets
1993 Topps Stadium Club #514

Topps Fact: Rookie Card 1984 Topps Traded
GMT Fact: While most people remember Gooden as a pitcher, when times got tough and Doc needed a quick score, certain pushers in Harlem (and certain Topps photographers) insisted he turn around and be a catcher.

Note: For the life of me, I can't figure out the stat line on this card. It must be an error, no? It has Gooden playing 31 games, hitting .255 with 93 runs, 11 HRs and 86 RBI.

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Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

Evidence Barry Bonds Was Juicing in 1991

While many point to the 1998 McGuire-Sosa homerun chase as the pivotal point in which Barry Bonds decided he longed for the attention that went with being the greatest player on the planet, I recently uncovered indisputible evidence that Bonds was using anabolic steroids as early as 1991.

Bonds' '92 Score "'91 Score All Star Team" card clearly shows a head an estimated 125% the size of his torso. 'Splain that.

Barry Bonds
Left Fielder, Pittsburgh Pirates
1992 Score #777

Score Fact: Barry can pretty much do it all.
GMT Fact: Barry's an asshole.

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Giff Likes His Backfields in Motion

Kathie Lee Gifford
Wife, New York Giants
1992 Pro Line Portraits #12

Pro Line Fact: "...I see Frank enjoying football after all this time, and if anybody had a right to be tired of it, it would be Frank."
GMT Fact: Funny, Frank felt the same way about his marriage.

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Baseball's Folk Hero

Dan Boone
Relief Pitcher, Baltimore Orioles
1991 Score #715

Score Fact: The most heart-warming story of '90 might just be the return to baseball of Dan, the seventh generation nephew of the famous frontiersman.
GMT Fact: Boone was once ejected from a game for circling the bull pen car around Joel Youngblood and trying to give him 'blankets.'

GMT Bonus Fact: Dan was 36 when Score deemed him a "Rookie Prospect." At 36 Daniel Boone was slaughtering Indians in Kentucky like it were his job, whereas Dan felt the need to carry on the family name by harassing Chief Wahoo in Cleveland.

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Bafangool, NPH!

Steve Sax
Second Baseman, Los Angeles Dodgers
1988 Topps Big #46

Topps Fact: Steve was NL Rookie of the Year in 1982.
GMT Fact: Despite several forgettable TV appearances including roles on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, The Simpsons, Who's the Boss and Square Pegs, Steve never got over the fact he was passed over for the role of Vinny Delpino in favor of Max Castella on Doogie Howser, M.D. The other shoe dropped when Bobby Deniro laughed in his face (a little bit) when he expressed his interest in playing the overrated actor's son Calogero Anello in 1993's overrated stereotypical Italian-American flick A Bronx Tale.

In turn, he took his frustration out on Tommy Lasorda, defense and "hot trim everywhere."

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And...BOOM Goes the Quarterback

Gary Hogeboom
Quarterback, Phoenix Cardinals
1990 Score #529

Score Fact: With Neil Lomax out the whole '89 season (and subsequently retired), Gary, who signed as a Plan B free agent, became a valuable starter.
GMT Fact: When Plan B fell through, Gary opted for Plan C: identity fraud. In 2005, Hogeboom was a contestant on Survivor: Guatemala, on which he posed as landscaper named Gary Hawkins. His cover went boom when a fellow contestant, Kansas sportscaster and pageant queen Danni Boatwright, pointed out that she recognized the then 47-year-old ex-NFL quarterback. Viewers cried foul, because, let's face it, Gary's parents couldn't pick him out of a lineup.

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Just Like His Sister

Scott Hamilton
Figure Skater, Team USA
1991 Impel US Olympic Cards

Impel Fact: "At age nine he wanted to learn to skate like his sister..."
GMT Fact: Of course he did.

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Keith Jackson's 227 Audition Photo

Keith Jackson
Tight End, Miami Dolphins
1993 Classic Pro Line Profiles #524

Pro Line Fact: When Keith Jackson was growing up in Little Rock, Arkansas, his mother Gladys had to work two jobs to provide for Keith, his brother Byron, and his sister Gwenitt.
GMT Fact: Following his mother's example, Keith sought additional employment by testing his acting chops. He was said to have auditioned for the role of 227's Lester Jenkins by simply handing them the family photo that wound up on his 1993 Classic Pro Line Profile card. Ultimately, he lost out to Sanford & Son's Officer Smitty, Hal Williams.

Bobby Grich's Specialty

Bob Grich
Second Baseman, California Angels
1984 Topps #315

Topps Fact: Walloped 2 Homers at Kansas City, 6-25-83
GMT Fact: Walloped George Brett and Dan Quisenberry with 2 of his patented "stink palms" following the game.

Stop Me If You've Heard This One...

A Bush, A Dick, A Colin and An A-Hole walk into a war...


President George H.W. Bush
Commander in Cheif, United States of America
1991 Topps Desert Storm - 3rd Series #177



Secretary Dick Cheney
Secretary of Defense, United States of America
1991 Topps Desert Storm - 3rd Series #179

General Colin Powell
Chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff
1991 Topps Desert Storm #2

Saddam Hussein
Dictatorial President, Iraq
1991 Topps Desert Storm - 3rd Series #189

Jerry Reed, Madball

Jerry Reed
Pitcher, Seattle Mariners
1990 Dunruss #614

Donruss Fact: 2nd on Mariners in appearances in '88 and 3rd in '89.
GMT Fact: Was immortalized as the iconic 80's Madball "Screamin' Meemie."

Before They Were Stars

I came across a goldmine of unintentional comedy when I recently inherited a 1980 Philadelphia Phillies yearbook.

I'll be periodically scanning things in and posting both here and at HHR.

Before they were big league juicers and heart breakers, Bret and Aaron Boone appeared in the yearbook with their parents and younger brother, Matthew, whom they now affectionately refer to as the "Cooper Manning" of the family.

Damn, Lying Dominicans

Nice air cast.

Andres Santana
Shortstop, San Francisco Giants
1990 Bowman #230

Bowman Fact: He played at San Jose in 1989.
GMT Fact: Long before Miguel Tejada made headlines for blowing up during an ESPN interview over suspicious questions about his age, fellow Dominican shortstop Andres Santana was engaged in similar shenanigans. While his 1990 Bowman Card lists him as being born on 3-19-68, numerous baseball reference sites actually list him as being born 2-5-68. Regardless of his age, he sucked.

For All You Comic Book Nuts Out There...

This site is for you...

Kids, Don't Get Too Close

Rick Waits
Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers
1986 Topps #614

Topps Fact: His 1st major league One-Hitter: 4-7-79
GMT Fact: Rick Waits...and stares...and touches himself inappropriately.

For the Love of the Game

Ernie Whitt
Catcher, Atlanta Braves
1990 Bowman #16

Bowman Fact: Acq: Trade with Blue Jays, 12-18-89.
GMT Fact: Earned his acting chops as Kevin Costner's battery mate in the 1999 classic, For the Love of the Game.

For Pete's Sake, Kurt

You can't take the lipper out for three seconds to snap a damn picture?

Kurt Kepshire
Pitcher, St. Louis Cardinals
1986 Topps #256

Topps Fact: He earned his 1st major league Win: 7-4-84.
GMT Fact: His girlfriend threatened to leave him because he dipped. He called her bluff.